


Here With Me

by Mulderist1013



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Episode: s07e10 Sein Und Zeit, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, season seven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 04:37:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13651587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mulderist1013/pseuds/Mulderist1013
Summary: “Tell me it will be okay.”“You already know the answer, Mulder.”





	Here With Me

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to a lot of angsty music recently and wanted to write this scene from Sein Und Zeit. It was a little more difficult than I thought and the ending went in a completely different direction than planned. For fun, listen to Dido while you read this. It really sets the mood.

“I won’t leave, I can’t hide, I cannot be

Until you’re resting here with me” - Dido

* * *

They sat paralyzed in an uncomfortable silence. Her focus lay for a moment on her interlaced fingers but she could feel that he was ready to break.  His fingertips pressed firmly to his temples and a slow ragged exhale escaped his lips. He rose abruptly and focused his rage on the cluttered desk, shaking it violently.  Scully stood and reached out for his arm but he jerked away and firmly pointed a finger at her in defiance.

“She was trying to tell me something!” Mulder said through gritted teeth.  “She was trying to tell me SOMETHING!” He shouted as he balled his hands into fists and slammed them against the desktop.  Scully stood strong and gently touched his bicep, 

“Mulder…” she began but he turned away and was instantly overcome by tears.  He crumpled into the chair with a low moan. His armor shattered like a house of glass.

“She was trying to tell me…she was…” he struggled as he doubled over and his voice faded away.

“Mulder, she was trying to tell you to stop,” Scully started as she knelt close to him, “to stop looking for your sister.”  Her voice quivered as she spoke the harsh truth.  One hand caressed his back and the other eased its way to the nape of his neck to bring him close. “She was just trying to take away your pain.”  Mulder’s back heaved and he reached out an arm to wrap tightly around her.  Scully’s own tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as she held him trying desperately to absorb his heartache.  A kiss was placed on the side of his neck and she listened the choking rhythm of his crying.  He gradually pulled his head away from her now tear-stained shoulder and took in a much needed breath of air.  Her hand shifted to rest along his cheek.  Mulder slowly opened his eyes and reached up to take her fingers.  He squeezed them briefly then moved her hand away as he endeavored to stand.  Scully rose to her feet with him.

“Mulder?”  

“I’m going to need a minute.”  he said quietly as he released her hand.  

“Okay.” she responded as she watched him walk towards the bedroom.

He sluggishly paced the small room with his hands on his hips.  He was exhausted and what he thought was an embarrassing display of emotions moments ago did not help.  Mulder stepped into the bathroom and turned on the faucet to splash water on his face.  He looked in the mirror and noticed the signature puffiness and bloodshot eyes.  He gripped the porcelain and hung his head allowing drops of water to fall from his nose and chin into the basin.  His right hand snatched the nearby towel off it’s bar and dried his face.  Mulder remembered a time he came home after a pick-up baseball game with his nose and upper lip caked in dried blood.  He excitedly told his mother about sliding to steal third base in the ninth inning and wanting to finish the game with his bloody badge of honor.  She shook her head with a tender smile as she cleaned him up.  That smile.  It was like a rare flower that only bloomed in the harshest conditions.  She would greet him and Samantha when they came home from school with a warm grin.  She would allow herself a moment of joy as she watched her family sit down to the meal she prepared.  She would even put on a brave face after a particularly heated argument with his father.  Suddenly, Mulder couldn’t remember the last time he saw his mother smile.  A flood of emotions rushed forward and Mulder frantically balled up the towel with a white-knuckle grip then growled and delivered a blind punch to the bathroom door.

Scully was seated on his leather couch when she heard a thud come from the bedroom and she went in to find the source.  As she crossed the threshold she found Mulder had emerged from the bathroom flexing and tensing his right hand.  

“It’s not right, Scully.” he said when he noticed her. “It wasn’t supposed to be this way.  I mean I already went through this when my father was killed.  I never expected my mother would have met a tragic end as well.  But I suppose tragedy goes hand in hand with the Mulder name. Shakespeare couldn’t have written this any better.”  Scully moved closer and on instinct he gave her his injured hand.  

“Oh,” she frowned at it and gingerly inspected his knuckles. “Here let me see.”  Aside from a mild abrasion across each joint he avoided any serious damage though she went to the medicine cabinet for some rubbing alcohol.  He winced as she applied the damp cotton ball.

“I can’t stop looking Scully,” he said as he watched her play doctor.  She shook her head,

“You can’t or won’t?”  Mulder bristled and took back his hand.  “Please don’t do this,” she cautioned.

“Well what do you want me to do then?  Just give up because of what happened to her.  She wouldn’t want that, she would want me to find Samantha and put an end to all this.  Hell, even if I was able to find Amber Lynn I know that it would give her some solace.”  Mulder walked back and forth from one side of the bed to the other, his right hand now on the back of his neck.  “Jesus, I should have called her.” He stopped and looked to Scully.  “I never called her back.  I told her I was too busy.  Jesus this hurts.  This hurts so much.”  She approached him slowly and saw the tears well in his eyes.  He covered his face with his hands and she collected him in her arms.     

The remaining hours waned and graciously allowed Mulder some time to rest.  He insisted on holding Scully as they lay down together.  He told her needed to cling to something real.  She tried to resist the pull of a gracious smile at the corner of her mouth but failed wholeheartedly.  Mulder knew he was being directed by grief when he kissed her but she did not shy away.  She met him with the same intensity, her lips soft against his and the sensation warmed him to the core.  Mulder’s fingers caressed her cheek as their passion escalated.  His mouth came free of hers and focused on the delicate line of her neck resulting in a deep sigh.  He then moved over top her small frame and kissed her once again as she lay on her back.  Mulder’s hand drifted to her breast but he stopped abruptly like he had received an electric shock.

“What is it?” she asked softly.

“I’m sorry.” he said sheepishly, “God Scully I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.  It’s okay.” She guided his hand to tenderly cup her breast which unconsciously stirred her arousal.  He was graceful as he maneuvered under her shirt wanting to be skin on skin.  Scully wanted to help him forget, to move on, to let go.  She lay half-dressed on his bed as he feverishly pumped into her, though she found no fulfillment herself she desperately wanted him to find release.  Her breath quickened with her movements and clipped as he withdrew to catch himself.  Mulder moved off the bed and went to get a hand towel.  He returned and quietly cleaned her up.  She got dressed then went into the bathroom.  Mulder fixed his clothes and laid down on his side.  An overwhelming wave of shame washed over him and he tried to restrain his tears.  He felt Scully return and try to settle in behind him but he turned over so he could hold her tightly as she rested her back against his chest.

“I fucked up.” he whispered into her hair.

“No. No you didn’t.  She reassured him.  “That was a combination of anguish and passion.  I was with you the entire time, there was nothing I didn’t want you to do.”

“Tell me it will be okay.”

“You already know the answer, Mulder.”  She held on as he started to cry.  

Dawn was breaking through the bedroom window as they lay entwined on his bed.  There was a harsh knock at the door.  Scully lifted her head thinking she dreamt it.  Mulder was finally asleep and she hated to wake him.  She listened harder and was dismayed when she heard the knock again.  She lifted Mulder’s arm and quietly left the bedroom to answer the door before they knocked once more.  With flip of the lock she was surprised to see Skinner standing in front of her.  He took one glance she could see that he was trying to think of something to say on the fly.

“How is he?”

“It’s been a rough night for him.” 


End file.
